Started drafting from 26 Jan 2012
“You of little faith” – Is your faith like the above, not grown up yet?
I have pastors above me. They led me and gave many convincing Word of God, but they gave many disappointments to me too. When I shared my weaknesses, they killed my confidence. They were harsh to me. When I said I cannot, they hurt me by giving the disappointed look in their face. Yet, they gave me one consistent understanding “God is living; He never does wrong; He has given you the best; His promise is still true to you”. I nearly went to mental collapse, but I’d rather take them in because the pains were sweet to my soul as I found the highest cross of Christ – it was meant to give birth to the Holy Spirit. This is because one day, I realized that they are “untrustable” and not meant to be relied fully upon, just like why it was evil when Israel asked for a king. Even a king or a judge was provided like a “Christ” so as to lead people to God. Through the realization, I have loved my pastors more than ever, because God made use of them to lead me to Christ.
When I complain of not receiving my rights, the Lord rebuked me, “Can you not bear your own cross?” I have been comparing always. Yet, I realized I am made different. The words of pastors finally made sense “Wengang, do you know that you are made to be quiet, an introvert?” Yet, I also grasp onto “a person can be changed many times over through the gospel” and pray to be a teacher to the Christians of China.
Then I cried, “Lord why do you give promise to us all, yet some seems slow to fulfill or there are not any fruits that can be foreseen to comfort my brethrens?” The Lord replied, “It is not meant to let them relax, but it is meant to give them an impression, a Spirit to face God’s promise themselves. Whoever have seen the treasure will exchange that with all their lives. Now, pastor their disbelieving spirits as I have pastored you!”
Have a listen here on faith
06/11/2011 Jesus Said: Come and Follow Me 4: Jesus Only Rebuked Disciples: “You of Little Faith!”