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Unreserved Holiness


There is an unreserved holiness that only brings wisdom and praise out from the innermost soul and from everyone around you. It is not only a destination; it is the light brought about by the scepter of Christ!

1. The search for the complete gospel that has already found me

You can refer back to my previous year 2008 blog where I wrote about bible verses that impacted my life:


I remember I was searching for the verses that illuminated St Augustine so that he was converted. I heard from my senior pastor Rev Leechull spoke about the bible verses that influenced St Augustine to conversion. At that time, the orientation of the church pulpit message kept on consoling the congregation, and gave me the impression that to accuse people would be the last thing God desires. i.e. how can these verses fit into a person’s life so as to make a person convert? Are not the verses below a result of conversion (born again) rather than something that converts (makes one born again)? Therefore, I could not fully understand why the following verses actually caused St Augustine (the way I interpret – the start of Christian theology that accords to his own experience, i.e. he wrote “The Confessions”) into conversion. Therefore, I did not list the verse down in my previous year 2008 blog. The following verses were what happened when he was prompted by a childlike voice, and took it as a divine command to open the Bible and read the first thing he saw:

Romans 13:13-14
13 Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and
make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

God changed him then at 32 years old through his mother Monica’s prayers of despair but continual hope since young.

Even though I cannot fully understand why the verses nailed St Augustine’s conversion, I kept the above verses deep into my heart. I just cannot forget them as they are from the bible. I cannot twist what I read from the bible to fit my own theology or what I, if my weak mind, has heard.

Along with the above verses, I remember

Psalm 19
1 The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
2 Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.

8 the precepts of the Lord are right,
rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the Lord is pure,
enlightening the eyes;

12 Who can discern his errors?
Declare me innocent from hidden faults.

14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

For all these years, I realized one thing is absolutely true – the Lord is Holy and His glory is such that I must never show consideration for my weaknesses so that I worship God with compromise. Your weaknesses may come from the conditions and fields God has given you. But those are not for you to compromise God’s greater power through you to open the doors of evangelism. Those weaknesses are placed not for you to show consideration to (as if God loves you so that He will forgo every weaknesses as His favored child of God) so that you can live a more carefree life less of guilt or reproach from God. (If you hear no grief of the Holy Spirit, you either already have your conscience of faith tainted or that you are not born again.) Those weaknesses are placed for you to understand your spiritual calling, to be willing to suffer everything and to go to your end to face God in prayers, so as to attain Christ’s resurrection in getting practical wisdom.

2. Not to abolish the Law or the Prophets, but fulfill them

The 36 lessons are not an end to your conversion, or the experience of the “second” born again. They are a guide, and only a guide. They guide you to live unreserved from the Lord, to the Lord, and in the Lord.

If you really want to evangelize to the unreached, the young that is out of your generation, or a culture that is far beyond yours, you must really know how much you must suffer in the Lord to hold on to God’s promise. Do you value the gospel and the promise of gospelization more than anything else so that you test and approve the things you must do in your work place? When you test and approve, one must know what the absolute conditions are and what the relative conditions are. i.e. when you are at your work place, the relative conditions are about doing your best at your office work. The absolute truth is that you cannot be a slave because you have a gospel too important to compromise. When I face the Lord with even my closest ones worrying for me, I realized I had to do it my way – the way the Lord has shown to me. There is a peace in me that I am not disobeying the people around me, but a peace that God will bring me through, and God will definitely bless the people and company many folds through my obedience. It produces some anxiousness, but I slowly confirmed that those anxiousness are as a result of Satan’s attack as I obey the Lord my God.

If you find it hard to live in your workplace, then make it a point to have a church-centered and brethren-centered lifestyle. Then your perspectives can be build on solid ground and you will not waver like a ship among waves. You might be disobeying the earthly authorities if you keep on having a pulpit-centered, brethren-centered and serving-centered lifestyle, but be sure that if you follow the Lord this way, the Lord will not only deliver you out of it, but the Lord will give you your heart’s desire in the gospel promise of God.

This, in a word, means “unreserved holiness” in all things 24 hours, a point made to focus there and go towards there.

Matthew 5:48
48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

“Unreserved holiness” created in me a new heart. There is a New Creation. That new creation is not by grace that has been made cheap, but by death and resurrection – grace that is made sovereign, and glory that makes every word in the bible alive in you.

3. Praising in the Gospel vs Conscience-Pricking in Religion

The greatest difference between gospel and religion are two folds:
– The gospel is that God has already found you unconditionally, and religion is that you need to keep on trying to find God.
– The gospel is that you can live in unreserved holiness that surpasses every law, but religion from man can never perform this miracle.

An unconditional love may have started to produce unreserved holiness, but a person is transformed when he is trained to go into a total willingness to produce unconditional appreciation for unconditional love of God gives praise from the innermost soul.

Do you notice how the Christian faith differs from all other religions? We praise God! Religions that rely only on the conscience will ponder why their gods need praises from men. (If they praise their gods, their gods will be embarrassed because their gods rely on conscience to help the earthly people.) Do we praise God out of a conscious debt of His love? Frankly speaking, no. God is not a judge who checks if He can impute to us His judgments, for He chose to impute all on His Son Jesus Christ already. We praise the God of Yahweh because we find Him awesomely amazing many times, and we especially find Him awesome because He is steadfast and faithful to us all the time. You would not praise a friend who helps out as a friend in need, but you will praise your own father who has always been so awesome and steadfast by your side, who will make sure you walk right, and who will even give his life for your true happiness.

Psalm 108:1
1 My heart is steadfast, O God!
I will sing and make melody with all my being!

Psalm 109:30-31
30 With my mouth I will give great thanks to the Lord;
I will praise him in the midst of the throng.
31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy one,
to save him from those who condemn his soul to death.

The child of God does not praise God only because he finds the Lord awesome. He only desires to find praise to God.

Sometimes, he may be unconvinced to obey God’s word. However, if he is born again to seek the unconditional love and unreserved holiness of God, you can be rest assured that he will never be at peace unless he submits with an unreserved love to God.

Therefore, pastors, elders, deacons, small group leaders and coworkers, you must teach the sheep how to praise God. Keep your focus right there, and you will forget your own troubles. We do not get crazy for the gospel only when we find it amazing. We know the gospel is our life so that we live in the gospel through praising God.


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Unlimited Freedom For Humility and Devotion


The whole point that the King of kings leads the whole history of mankind is to give a new birth to the power of humility and devotion to God. Humility and devotion can be recognized, but it cannot be emulated. The Spirit of humility and devotion can be found in Jesus setting exemplary examples on earth, progressing gradually towards the cross in submission, and reigning but yet co-working with His disciples even till now. It can also be found in Mary anointing Jesus with the most expensive perfume and wiped Jesus’ feet with her hair <John 12>. It was just 6 days before Jesus was to be lifted up and Satan, the ruler of the world, will be cast out. We are moving towards Good Friday, which comes in 6 days too.

If a true believer desires and really makes it a point to enter into serving, he grabs on to the promise that the privilege of serving will reward him with heavenly inheritance and blessings to his life. The promise of Jesus’ power is given to him. Yet, once he steps into serving, he will find as if that power is taken from him. Servitude requires faithfulness and continuance. It can continue because there is humility and devotion in Christ. In the whole nature of serving, the whole point is becoming like Jesus in humility and devotion. This has always been the traditional gospel from Abraham, till David, till Jesus, till the ministers with the Spirit of God. The white hairs, loss of hair, wrinkles that are lines of compassion and understanding are evidences from old pastors who serve in humility and devotion to Christ.

Humility and devotion are not just a matter of willingness. Why can a person continue to be faithful? Endurance cannot last, but finding the hand of God always helping lasts.

– Trying (religion) does not work, because it seeks for what it already knows, which is to say that there is already ignorance. The whole spiritual atmosphere has to be changed (gospel).

– Keeping on thinking whether one is worthy enough for God opens a loophole for where Satan can come in and accuse and take away your strength. The whole belief and lifestyle have to enter into God’s ultimate gospelization purpose for progressing the times and world.

– Waiting upon the time when sufferings are gone definitely does not work because the end of the deceived mind is just to get into a self-thought ideal world of no more spiritual battles. At your difficult period, God’s plan is to stretch your vessel.

– Following the need to keep to a schedule (immediately follow the flesh) after submitting just one time does not work too. You may be too impetuous, anxious and dependent on a feelings-based belief. Listening in to the instructions of the Holy Spirit will pave the way for step-by-step submission to His humility and devotion.

– Trying your best (or half-heartedness) to remember many promises in the head do not work too. You have forgotten about miracles testifying to God’s help happen when your serving is God-driven.

This was what happened to me when the serving gets tough. At first, I felt really hard to breathe. Then I learnt to give thanks for the privilege to serving. As I accept the challenge to serve more by stretching myself, I became aggressive and even saw quarrels as I reasoned out with God’s righteousness in me. But it just wasn’t the right spirit. God told me to be more gracious. Therefore I struggled and prayed. I remembered Jesus responding with healing an invalid even though he complained. The invalid was already lame for 38 years. It was not just a complaint. He really could see no hope at all. That is why Jesus healed him even though there is not a hint of faith in that invalid <John 5>, because the heart of the invalid had been made ready for 38 years. In the end, I knew God’s word for me; He wanted me to continue in serving faithfully. He says, “It is only at your busyness, yet knowing that it is the plan of God for you (four gospelizations), that you can learn to rely on the Holy Spirit, and learn the how-to in relying on Him.” That is really grace. When it came, the greater Spirit of humility and devotion came into me.

How can God come and help us? The following 3 stages or levels of understanding – which in fact is the Trinity – the Word of God, knowing Christ Himself, and reliance on the Holy Spirit are given so that we will go towards desiring, apprehending and embodying the source of all blessings, i.e. God Jehovah, so that humility and devotion are borne into and out from us.

1) Truth -> Promises

When the truth is out, we are set free from all forms of misunderstandings, deceptions and unneeded accusations.

John 8:32 “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Freedom is not doing whatever you want unbridled towards chaos, but being able to manage everything in the most orderly and controlled way.

God is alive. He loves you. Jesus died for you, and the Father has now bound Himself to give you only good things. There is another set of truths. You will die. You will live forever in the new heavens and new earth if you have a born again belief. For now, you are an exile on the earth. Nothing on earth is truly worth putting your hope in.

When the above becomes God’s personal promise to you, everything will start getting meaningful when you align in all your ways to God’s ultimate purpose in building His kingdom, exalting Christ and gathering all His children on earth. With that, you are promised with all forms of creativeness in serving Him as He has given you every kind of conditions without coincidence but with the purpose of blessing yourself, your family, the region, and all nations.

The truths of God have now become alive. However, they may be conditional to your state of spiritual life. E.g. If you have accusations in your heart, the promises may in fact become points that make you think you are far away from God because you just cannot experience or believe in the promises.

2) Christ -> Truly believe

Galatians 2:20 says “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Realizing that righteousness is not from myself, but it is Christ’s righteousness that is now found in me because through His blood for me, I can now come to the throne of God any time. I do not come because I am better off, but I come because my life is no longer mine. This rids off of all accusations, inferiority and any feelings of sorrows you might have struggled to come stand before the Lord. “God has His plan for me even through my weaknesses” <Ro 8:28>. There can be sins that must have consequences, but Christ’s love cannot be abolished because of any imperfect behaviors.

God sees you as perfect. That is because of Jesus’ perfection, not yours. You deserve hell. Therefore, it makes you all the way understanding God’s immense and amazing grace on you. Your life, your expressions and your everything – you have no right to be unhappy.

Apprehending Christ makes one understand what identity he has.

<John 1:12, 13> “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”

Taking Christ upon yourself, you are now starting to taste what is meant by the authority of God’s children. But it cannot just stay here. Christ went through death and resurrection in order to give transforming life to followers. He promised that with the gift of the Holy Spirit.

3) Holy Spirit -> Life and Lifestyle That Lives out and Testifies to the Spirit of Christ

<2Co 3:17> “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

The theologians from the 16th Century till now had suffered much in order to bring about the purity and completeness of God’s Word.

<Acts 2:17> “And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams”.

Those who believe Jesus in being crucified in the flesh and arisen already have the Holy Spirit. The baptism of the Holy Spirit comes at the same time you find out that the Holy Spirit is working in you all these while. All your conditions, all your timetable, from past till present, even into the future, are all the very conditions God has glorified and will be glorifying for His use. The Holy Spirit is co-working with you right now. No one can truly submit to the Lord. True submission comes from Holy Spirit working through us.

When your heart is turned to the Lord, the Spirit will reveal Himself to us. When the Holy Spirit comes upon you, you will rely on the Holy Spirit’s comfort, instructions, and anointing, you yourself being His vessels or witnesses of His great work. Such knowledge and reliance on the Holy Spirit is unlimited.

How do I know if I am living on the edge of the Holy Spirit?

(1) You enjoy the Spirit of Son-ship

Many believers are un-assured of their lives. Their prayers are only asking the Lord for help without any confidence that their lives are blameless, accomplished by the blood of Christ. However, there are remnants that are like Noah even when the whole world has turned upon them. They are blameless because God looks at them as blameless.

<Ps 15:1-2>

O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill?

He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart;

<Ps 24:9-10>

Lift up your heads, O gates! And lift them up, O ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.

Who is this King of glory? The Lord of hosts, He is the King of glory!”

(2) You receive and see promises: Emmanuel, protection, guidance, providence, and accomplishment

Some believers only receive fulfillments through prayers. However, those with the Spirit confirm promises through prayer fulfillments.

<Ps 18:32-37>

the God who equipped me with strength

and made my way blameless.

He made my feet like the feet of a deer

and set me secure on the heights.

He trains my hands for war,

so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You have given me the shield of your salvation,

and your right hand supported me,

and your gentleness made me great.

You gave a wide place for my steps under me,

and my feet did not slip.

I pursued my enemies and overtook them,

and did not turn back till they were consumed.

(3) According to the promises received, the Spirit of promises burns and tells you to throw away your own motives, purpose, contents, and methods

<Ps 22:1>

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?

<Ps 17:13-14>

Arise, O Lord! Confront him, subdue him!

Deliver my soul from the wicked by your sword,

from men by your hand, O Lord, from men of the world whose portion is in this life.

You fill their womb with treasure; they are satisfied with children, and they leave their abundance to their infants.

(4) Through the Holy Spirit, you can confirm that the Holy Spirit is pleased, is joyful and is praising you by seeing that He loves your thoughts, judgments and the words you speak to others

Believers nowadays do not really enjoy walking with God because they cannot see the support of the Lord with them. But in the midst of troubles and even in the imminent threat of death, David can see God treating David like an honored guest even amidst fiery attacks from enemies.

<Ps 23:5>

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.”

(5) Prayer continues rhythmically and unceasingly in intimacy and depths of communion in the Spirit

May our prayers open up the spiritual ears to hear the word of God in all things, all places, and at all times.

<Ps 19:1-2, 6, 14>

He heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.

Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge

and there is nothing hidden from Its heat

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

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Somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead


But we are not like orphans, so that when we are weak, we can only rely on ourselves to overcome and reconcile everything in us. God is our Father. He is there when we fail, so that we will keep on being lifted up by Him from failures. His power works by intervening into our limited knowledge and emotions. God accepts us; therefore, make it a point to open up to Him. Intervention always produces struggles, but because of Sola gratia (grace alone), we know that the struggles are different from mere men; the struggles instead start from a regenerative life that moves towards spiritual healing and ends at conquering everything. If God is not proven right by having us go through repentance and humility, He won’t be able to work completely through grace alone next time. It is neither about spiritual enlightenment first, nor works first; it is about God-enablement first.

When we accept Christ’s forgiveness of our weaknesses, how do we make it less cheap of God’s grace, but really in much thanksgiving of God’s immense grace? It is when we accept neither based on the measure of our earnest plea for help so that we felt very peaceful as do the godly religious people do, nor that we can promise we won’t commit any weaknesses again. It is at the moment when we accept it as normally based on the seal of the Holy Spirit’s work on us that cannot be erased or forgotten. This work is God’s work on salvation, based alone on His initiative, which is indescribably enormous that it must work out all salvation for all our Christian life.

How do we get the power to come to us to regenerate our lives so that we can say "no" in setting apart? It is neither because we have no choice but leave everything to the turn of events that may randomly help us, nor when we felt our faith is better so that we can overcome the earthly pull. It is the moment when we realize that our Christian walk has to go through sufferings (or the length of the test of time) in order for our earthly mind to transcend just because of the only reason of the world’s existence, i.e. till the coming of our Lord Jesus. Just like Jesus was nailed on the cross, He led all to the grave and led all to the heavens; it was this suffering to obey God all the way (from the cross to the grave, from the grave to the sky) that produces power that overcomes the world. For example, when we are trying our best to guard our hearts and minds, the first thing that comes to our mind is testing “Am I truly happy?” When we keep on looking for satisfaction, there becomes an unbelief that results, i.e. “not satisfied = I am not there in the presence of God yet = my faith is weak”. This, essentially, is the tinge of disbelief that comes from Satan’s accusation, actually causing us to lose joy away! Let that go, for you have tried and the Lord has not meant to help you now to have joy. The Lord’s will is not to take that suffering away. Instead of trying to look away from the grave and put your eyes in heaven, look to the grave at that moment. God’s will at that moment is for you to die and be buried with Christ, so that somehow, God can lead me to attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Php 3:10-11 “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.”

Seek for Christ’s power. That power is held in things invisible, described in terms like “timetable”, “spiritual blessings”, your “values” and “life philosophy”. Then bend your heart towards these truths, so that He will direct your paths.

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Spiritual Healing

Spiritual Healing
Drafted since 2013/2/5


“Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve springs and seventy palm trees, and they camped there near the water.” <Ex 15:27>

In trying to understand the difficulties people face, I discover that the power in everyone varies. If the power is weaker, he can fall into darkness and be unable to realize where he stands in his situations. Without such understanding, he will only fall deeper and deeper into it, and it may come to be that he will snap / do something wrong. The vicious cycle of weakness happens after continually being condemned and wounded through the wrongs did, confidence totally taken away gradually. Yet, for the person where the Holy Spirit shines, the power starts to manifest, making all perspectives align, restoring the source of all blessings in him.

Discerning the convictions of the Holy Spirit

In discerning the convictions of the Holy Spirit, the following are to be vet through:

1) Convictions should be experienced not only in the study of word of God, prayers and church life, but in all things 24 hrs normal, always, daily. The filling of the Holy Spirit can be experienced in sleeping, in eating, in being a husband, etc.

2) Only the Word of God tells us what is normal, always and daily. In today’s society of pragmatism, striving for success, results, more effective process, and in the backdrop of society’s dropping morality, there are too many grey areas and definitions of what is pleasing to the principles of life and living since creation.

3) The Son of Man Jesus Christ incarnated and showed us that it is completely possible to manage, enjoy, and have wisdom in everything we do. He showed us true freedom within desires through crying and hungering. He was set apart, yet showed immense love, revealing a life full of grace and truth. He showed death and resurrection on top of all kinds of contradictions in being more than conquerors. He showed that Holy Spirit is not boring.

4) Clothing the Spirit of sonship just like Christ as the only Son of God, we have our identity and calling, defining our life and our lifestyle.We belong to Him for He has purchased us with a high price of His blood. Therefore, we will come boldly to Him even though we have transgressed, for only the need for Him can cause us to live because of Him.

5) Flow with the Holy Spirit. Rely on the fruits of the Spirit, and rely on the convictions to see the fruits of the Spirit. Diligently heed the voice of the Lord to tune to His ways. The Holy Spirit’s convictions are which comes so that you can heed and keep to His commandments in sweetness.

3 things that hinder us from receiving the Holy Spirit’s convictions

1) Ignorance

2) Disbelief

3) Disobedience

The above teaches us the importance of believing the correct one truth, having faith built on it, and obedience so that the Holy Spirit’s convictions can continue to come.

Preserving the filling of the Holy Spirit

However, our heart responds in another way when we try to maintain / preserve the filling of the Holy Spirit. (Instead of 1) Ignorance, 2) Disbelief, 3) Disobedience, the Holy Spirit stops flowing from 3) Disobedience, 2) Disbelief, 1) Going into Ignorance.) Holistic healing starts from the spirit, but healing can continue from the spirit, heart, body, all the way till healing in all things only when the filling of the Holy Spirit continues and continues in a person’s spirit. I guess this is why the Old Testament books are arranged in this way: Priest books of the Torah, historical books of Kings, Psalms and the Prophets. The intention is not to teach and understand, but to give the Holy Spirit.

1) The spirit of disobedience -> throne of God

Sins, weaknesses, but more accurately, the guilt that comes that is not brought before the Lord to experience His love and righteousness is the first thing that Satan attacks the child of God. Sometimes, it is a great misunderstanding of what truly displeases and pleases God. Sin is disobedience to His love relationship and the calling to being His righteous vessel. If this is not solved, the continual sanctification work done is clogged up. But when we boldly come to the throne of God to hear whatever He has to say to us through His word and perfect will, the filling of the Holy Spirit continues.

2) The spirit of fear and disbelief -> assured faith

We cannot be bold unless we are assured we have salvation, are assured that we have the life of our Father in us. If we try to live as children of God but not to live as His children, we lose strength and courage. The Spirit starts to work from a total surrender from timidity, but He cannot continue to work “for God has not given us a Spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” <2Ti 1:7>. The Spirit works through an assured faith. There are definite spiritual battles. True peace does not come after it is experienced in the midst of spiritual battles, because such peace overcomes no matter what kinds of darkness arrives. Once there are fears and worries, the mind is no longer stable, and fixed perspectives will be undone. But if we know His calling, perfect will and timetable right now, strength and courage come, and the gift of the Holy Spirit can be stirred up once again.

3) The spirit of loss of spiritual knowledge -> actively choose the predestined guidance to decide on next actions

Now, if we know His perfect will, yet cannot confirm His guidance over me every moment, place and time, we lose and cannot keep in step with the Holy Spirit. The Lord never accomplishes things without first revealing them through prophets. King David proclaims that the word of God can be found in all of God’s creation, the most important of all is on mankind, and the emphasis is that the Word of God is found on you and your fields. The great power of the Holy Spirit comes upon you when you believe that there is absolute guidance of <Romans 8> in all moments of your life. Even if there are things that you seem to do that thwart God’s grace, it is never above God’s power to cause all things to work out when you seek for your Father’s love. It is true that the perfect will of God has to be tested and approved, but <Romans 12> is not taken in carefulness. Rather, the perfect plans of God found within our life and fields are tested back to us being His blessed & predestined choosing, calling, love and favor. Therefore, starting to believe does not only mean starting to test and approve alone. It means starting to arrange your tasks-to-do by the Lord’s convictions. After you confirm the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you keep following the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Testing and Approving Practically

How do we test and approve practically, so that we enter into spiritual healing?

For example, you may have 4 things to do right now:

(1) emails to clear,

(2) tasks to help and support,

(3) go into the study of God’s word, pulpit message and prayers,

(4) prepare messages, singspiration or testimony to share.

Let’s say you need to (4) prepare messages, singspiration or testimony to share. The natural state of man tends to want to do the ones that can easily pass by like (1) and then (2). But after meddling with all these things out in a hurry, squeezing things into the limited time allotted by God to you, the heart becomes less sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit to even do (3). By the time you finish (1), (2) and even (3), you may not be able to do (4) any more, because (1), (2) and (3) are done away from the Holy Spirit’s convictions. Do not put out the fire of the Holy Spirit if He emphasizes to you to do the important thing of (4) first, but plan time and actions according to where the Holy Spirit can best continue to activate your thoughts on His guidance at every moment. Test and approve the time and actions accordingly of (4), not according to convenience of (1), (2) and (3).

Then when you do the tasks, the Lord will change your heart into one that has no dilemma, or even shows you to a higher calling to the things that He wants you to obey right now.

To emphasize this, the Holy Spirit is a Person; He can ignore you when you ignore Him. But if you love Him, He will show you things you never expect to see and have your heart changed like never before. If you love Him more, He will show you everything.

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My Jesus Satisfies

Drafted 2012-10-25

Hell and destruction are never satisfied, and the lust of the eyes, flesh and boast of the world never satisfy their hunger for us.

Pro 30:15-16 puts this in the best of words, saying

The leech has two daughters— Give and Give!
There are three things that are never satisfied, Four never say, “Enough!”:
The grave,
The barren womb,
The earth that is not satisfied with water—
And the fire never says, “Enough!”

Death/Hell is never satisfied. Emptiness wants even more evil. Our human ways always loves the wine and merry-making of the world. And the desires of our flesh never finish burning!

Of course these things happen to us when we accidentally fell. But what happens when you do not seek for anything in the world any more? What happens when we know it in our hearts that we really do not have any desires for these anymore that the world keeps on racing to get? By centering on brethrens, going through confirming that all conditions given to us are the best, especially the more difficult relationships of those around us, we may have gone through many roads of the cross. We have born our own cross for some time, so that when we look back, our hearts have died to the things of the world. Even when we fall, we know we just need God more by coming to Him as children of God, receiving the power of repentance, and renewing ourselves. But what happens when we have died?

A small voice comes. As in <Matthew 16>, The Spirit of Christ says, “Who do you say I am?” As in <John 21>, “Do you love (agape) me?” Do you take it with your utmost joy when we respond to the Lord, “Feed My lambs”? I cried when I heard this. (<John 21> never fails to convict me over and over again.) What about you? We may need Jesus and hunger for Him because we have problems. Once the problems are solved, we may need Jesus because we want to see His Word imprinted on us to give us the promise that the world cannot give us. We may want to follow Jesus because we want to view everything in His covenanted perspective because the pulling power of the world is just so strong. When we see that we long for Jesus, the Spirit in us comforts us that we are drawn to Him, that in our true self, we actually love Him. When the seal upon us has begun sealing us a second time, so that we cannot deny but lose our lives for our families and those around us because we have prayed for them and they are God-given to us, we go through sufferings to battle through understanding that the Lord is pleased with us. We know, but do we really love Jesus? When we have time to spare, do we want to read the bible and go into the realms of prayers? When we are tired, do we go to the Lord to be filled with strength? When we are tempted, do we run to Him, not because we are pitiful, but because we want to be found in His love? When God tells us to prepare messages to lead small groups and messages, do we love to go into receiving insights of His word? Are you in a state so that you cannot live without Jesus, or are you in a state of enjoying everything Jesus planned just because He lives? Do you like Jesus?


At our state, we may say “Lord, I love you”, but really, as a friend. How can I love You as You have loved me unconditionally? But the Word of God always talks about unconditional love to God and to brethrens. It is found throughout the whole New Testament Bible. The reality of weaknesses (Satan’s great lie) and the reality of people’s self-righteousness (She eats and wipes her mouth, and says, “I have done no wickedness.”), the true face of Satan – have we not seen and thus be greatly thankful to the Lord for His deliverance so that we may become sons of God?

To love God because He has given us salvation – this is the greatest love. To love God because He has directed my paths to eternal inheritance to the ends of the earth – this is the greatest love. To love God because He sets me free by giving me the Holy Spirit. To love because I am provided with the best conditions everywhere I go – this is His love. To love because I am sanctified to be purer – this is His love. To love because He gave me fruits of brethren relationships that last – this is His love. Fill this in, you little man. All these are unconditional. Without the love of God, can you love Him? Agur said,

“Surely I am more stupid than any man, And do not have the understanding of a man. I neither learned wisdom. Nor have knowledge of the Holy One.” <Proverbs 31:2-3>

This is the start of understanding. This is the start of you grasping further about the Love of God. This is the start of you being able to agape love God.


One or two times of saying “I love Jesus” is easy. But can you be continually satisfied of His love? This is the mystery of prayers. The natural reaction of loving God is communicating deeper and more lovingly than before. More than continuous prayers, it is about scheduled prayers. Scheduled prayers are about “not forgetting His loving unconditional words of accomplishments”, let His perfect will renew your mind and thus transform your heart to love Him from a phileo friendship love to an agape unconditional love.

1) Give the right words of life:

Praying to my Lord, my God, I am Your son. All my life, my everydays are in Your hands of holding to the ends of the earth. May Your kingdom not pass but come into the depths of my spirit. I seek Your concrete plans for each thing I do, for You have already purposed in all things for my heart. For all that I need daily, open my eyes to see spiritual insights, wisdom, health, necessities, and testimonies. Let “love and submission” become the standard of whether I have sinned. Allow me the power of repentance. Expand loving relationships with all around me. Bring them out of their problems to see You clearer. May You abolish away all evil and temptations because I want to remain in You. Because I just want Your glory to be filled all around me.

2) Receive the gentle and upright Spirit:

Waiting upon His living response to us, His convictions reaches my heart. Your love and grace follows me. At each moment, I can feel the Spirit supporting me. Strength, love, self-control, peace, joy and freedom appear in my heart. A natural desire to praise Jesus all the days of my life praising enters. Satisfied upon being satisfied, seal upon seal, submission, continuous prayers, turn of timetable, strengthening the battle in the heart no matter what, it all comes in the heart. The heart receives a heart of a big courageous man, driving away all that is fake.

All the days of my life, Lord, I want to die to the prince of the air, be totally satisfied in burying myself in Your unconditional love for me, and make a love story movie between You and I before the end of days.

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Buried in Christ

Drafted since 2012-10-18


As much as I have tried, the hunger of the bad wolf still keeps coming at me. I hate the world, but through the failure, it becomes a realization that I still love parts of the world. How come? Am I so weak in faith after so many battles? Why do I hate it so much, but it still comes to me?

Immediately after a failure, or immediately after realizing “I am a failure”, we will try to fight our accuser and rid of the guilt somehow. Immediately, we will try to use our strength and intentions to ask God to cleanse us. However, this is actually only a natural response in the body of depravity.

Realize that we have totally no strength against the burden of sin! We have totally no strength to even save our sheep. Why does Jesus have to go through the cross? It is for a spiritual reason of battling against the personification of disbelief, Satan, so that Jesus’ disciples will not come to realize unless the battle has been won. Jesus had to become humiliated to the point of being nailed to the cross, and to the point of being buried 3 days in Hades. He is the firstborn of all Who had gone through death and resurrection. He is the temple we are going to model after.

Who are we that we may fight any temptations that come by? Can we fight our accuser who accuses day and night? We can only follow the truth. We can only win over the bad wolf by starving the bad wolf. We starve the bad wolf by only keeping our whole lives dedicated to feeding the good wolf. (In case you do not know the analogy: bad wolf = Satan; good wolf = Holy Spirit.)

In this case, where is our gain then? Do we always lose? There are two things we can check:

1) After going through failures, do you treasure more of God’s love? Do you have more compassion for people? Does love grow in you? Rejoice if it does! This is called being buried in Christ. Abide by the truth. The truth says that if you receive into your heart and your heart is glad when you see that “God is with me”, and that “God can now use me more because I know more compassion”, it is no longer you who are trying to be joyful. You can be joyful because He tells you to. You can be joyful because His word comes into you and you have taken them in. It is religious to try to be joyful, but it is the gospel to be naturally joyful.

2) After going through failures, do you hate the flesh more and you rejoice at every victory more? A grievous hatred towards the original sin gives courage to a child of God. The rejoicing at every victory is the humility of a child of God. Who are we that we can be sad over loss and failure? Who are we that we only thank God in our mind just because we pass a problem? That is pride. Live out your emotions with what He says! Be in total contriteness and sorrows when you fail. Be in total praise, dancing with all your might (till maybe your pants drop) when you see the ark of covenant returning to your heart!

We only live for a slight dot of time on earth. Jesus is coming again. When He comes again, how will He find His servant? Am I good and faithful, having godly tears when He tells me to, and praising with all my might when He tells me to? I do not belong to the dark. I belong to my Head Jesus Christ.

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Blessings Through My Mum

Drafted since 2012-10-17


I had another quarrel with my mum yesterday before discipleship training. It seemed that I have endured her health products propaganda. The singspiration was really good. The discipleship training message is really good. Through these blessed full-time ministers, it triggered remembrance to the message God gave to our gospel station – John chapters 18-19.

Jesus had troublesome disciples. They were rash and were easily discouraged. But Jesus loved them, not in heart, but in deeds.

Peter cut the high priest’s ear, but Jesus covered his rashness / anxiousness and healed the ear. Peter denied Christ 3 times, but Jesus forgave 70×7 times. Did the disciples trouble Him? In fact, it was so much it made this Teacher look bad. The disciples were always learning but not understanding many times. Until the end, Peter even responded with Phileo love when Jesus asked him 3 times of Agape love. In Gethsemane, 2 times He went to tell them to watch and pray, lest temptation overtakes them. For the first 2 times, He told them, “Can’t you just watch for me one hour?” But they could not even listen to the Lord of Creation to open their sleepy eyes for one hour. The third time, He went and saw them still sleeping, and He left them and prayed on His own. Jesus knew He had to lead them. When band of soldiers, officers of chief priests and Pharisees came to want to take Jesus, He told them, “I told you that I am He. So, if you seek Me, let these men go.” Jesus did not want anyone whom God had given Him to be lost: “Of those whom you gave me I have lost not one.” And when He was judged by the high priest Annas, his son-in-law Caiaphas and Pilate, He faced them bravely. He could face judgment and sufferings boldy because He had already entrusted his disciples to God, and knew that they must be completely be taken care of by the Holy Spirit Who is to come, because the world had already hated them.

When you love someone, you have to take in their troubles, cover them, suffer for them, and lead them to the Holy Spirit. This written in Isaiah 53:4-6, (in my own paraphrase) “Surely He is the One to take up our pain and bore our suffering. Yet (by His looks, judgement, lousy disciples), we considered him punished by God, stricken by Him, and afflicted. But (it was then discovered to our shock that) He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by his wounds we are healed. (It is us who had nailed Him to the cross! How wronged were we!) We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. (How can it be, this amazing love?)” This is the only way Satan’s head can be crushed. The spiritual reason has to come from understanding that I was wrong to the spirit, but totally forgiven to the spirit by someone totally righteous.

I made a covenant with God. If the food that my mum brings to me will worsen my health, so be it. (Yes, it seems so even though out of her love as a parent, though I would not elaborate on the details here.) If the secular things she is now after will bring any “shame to the cross”, so be it. I must carry that cross. I want no other peace than being totally filial to my parents and to gain their total blessings for me – spiritual and everything.

Today evening, my father complained to me that my mum may have made someone afraid of coming to our church because she continues to chase after that elderly person to buy her health products. I had peace. I told my father, “Mother is used by God to let only those who truly and purely desire God to come to our church.” I am going to start believing that God has given the best of everything to me.